My back itches.
In fact my back itches a LOT.
A whole lot.
I need some serious scratchifyin'. No ordinary back-scratcher will do.
Thankfully, there is something that can solve my irksome infliction.
FINE ART!
Let's take a look at this sucker.
IT'S THE ITCHFUCKER 9000! With this baby you will never have to worry about having an itch again!
It's patented "sharp-as-all-fuck" technology will quickly (and permanently) make sure that your skin will be itch free! What is left of it anyways.
One use of this baby and itches will be the least of your problems!
You simply affix it to your home ceiling with some form of rope or chord and then rub whatever area you wish to cleanse of that burning irritation onto the inner curve. We call this out, also patented, G spot.
The G stands for grating!
Because as you use it it grates off large portions of your epidermis! But you don't need that so don't worry about it.
Order today! Stock is very limited.
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You want art?
I got art.
It is shocking how much art I can find in the world.
In fact here is one now.
Look at this masterwork.
The combination of copper and deep black tones, combined with the stark white linework. Evokes images of the depth and breadth of human industrial progress.
The remarkable craftsmanship is almost inhuman in it's precise construction of the delicate curves of the form.
The line quality of the text that adorns the sides of the piece is second to none.
With this masterwork in your home, you will be able to nurture your appreciation for true beauty in art and the world around you.
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